Thursday, December 9, 2010

Whose life is it anyway?

Just can’t stay away from this one, the more I try the more I keep get pulled in. And I have to say it loud and clear. This is my viewpoint, and it worked for me.

This post is a response to Nitin’s and G.Vishwanath’s comment on IHM's post

If it’s a love marriage, I bet you loved him because he did your bidding. That is until he was pitted against his parents. A man is either independent, or he will be a mama’s boy/jhoru ka ghulam, depending on perspectives. Dont expect your husband to be your shield, if you are independent enough and tactful enough to manage situations.

That’s insulting. No woman worth her salt will want a puppet for a husband. Being independent means being able to think for oneself, clearly and not get influenced by emotional factors. How many men can do that? Can you? I know I can.

A woman leaves everything behind to live with the husband, its not the other way around. She is not expecting him to be her shield, but have the courage to stand up and defend her when she is being insulted. Would you like it if your wife just sat smug while u were being insulted and actually told you that you deserved it? Wouldn't you want your wife to defend you?

We do have older generation’s point of view. Yet I don’t get how insulting another human being is justified. They are parents themselves and yet they sit and insult another’s parents? How can that be justified? Is it even respect worthy? How does one, the daughter in law for one, respect such people? Hell, even animals are respected for who they are. So why not, the daughter in law? She is human after all.

And the women who undergo this – why are you doing this to yourself? It is your life, please take charge of it. If you cannot respect your life, how can you expect others to respect it? And when you have a child of your own, what kind of a message are you sending to him/her? That it is absolutely OK to be treated this way or be the one hurling abuses? Yes, you might not be getting physically abused, he might be loyal, but this is emotional abuse and it is just as cruel. And yes, it does amount to Domestic Violence.

And to those who daughter’s are going through this.. Why? Why do you parents let your daughters stay in a sad, cruel relationship? Support her. She is a human and deserves to be treated like one.

Love marriage or Arrange marriage, ultimately it all boils down to Honesty, Loyalty and Respect. Actually Respect . A man who doesn’t have the spine to stand up for a woman, who left everything behind to be with him, doesn’t deserve her. The man who needs his mum’s permission to be a good husband and a father, just because his mom is around is not worth it. Love can only take one so far.

Take charge of your life, woman. Simply, cause its yours. And have courage, lots of it, will get you through your life.