Monday, May 26, 2008

Labor of Love

Home made Pizza's are my fav food. They taste better than PH, Domino's or any other MSG loaded pizzas. 9 months, close to my due date and gorging on pizzas with extra cheese. Little did I know that it would be the last time that I would be eating them, for a long time to come. I was so stuffed that when my contractions started late at night I thought it was a bit too many pizzas. And then my water broke. I used to always wonder what that would feel like. Wet! And I'm contemplating whether I should wake up my parents or hang on till I really start to feel the pain.

My due date had us all worried. My mum's chemotherapy was going on and it clashed with her last chemo date. Each cycle was given at 3 week intervals. And my due date was between the fifth and sixth cycle. We kept praying that it would be on the last week of the fifth, just before the sixth. In anticipation my bags were packed and ready to go, when I was 7 months preg, as my mum knew that neither she nor I would have the time or the energy and strength to pack at the last minute. Yes my mum is the planner in our home. And I was given strict instructions that i should wake my parents in case of any emergency. So finally at 2 pm I wake them up. Mum says to wait while dad calls my gyno, Dr. A. Now thankfully she visits all the hospitals, and so could deliver my baby at my chosen hospital close to home. We finally reach the hospital at 4 AM.

Resident doc checks me and after difficult probing decides that I am not ready yet. Great! She then speaks with my Dr.A who instructs them to watch me. So I'm all changed into the flimsy hospital gown and made to lie down in the room. Now this room is shared by 2 other ladies, one in labor and the other had some tube protruding form her, honestly being in no mood to make polite conversation, I try to sleep. Yea right! Its 6 and no sign of my doc, and I'm getting restless. I'm walking around holding my gown close trying to keep my dignity intact. And getting yelled at by my nurses, they want me back in my room. I refuse to go. So they decide to get me some juice or milk. Yuck! I hate milk and in no mood of having juice. My mum,dad, bro and some aunts and granny are outside the labor ward. No family is allowed inside. Only mum was allowed, the nurses realized my mum was unwell(she had a scarf on her head as she had lost all her hair thanks to the chemo). Convinced my mum to go home and get some rest and come back later. The resident doc puts me on drips. I revolt saying I want to walk as it helps during labor.But they are having none of it. So I'm on drips in the room and this other lady's contractions start increasing. Dr. A after checking me confidently says I will deliver by evening, as I'm still not dilated enough. She gets me off my drips, as they induce labor and instructs the nurses that I should walk. Walk Walk Walk was her matra when I was preg too. So I get to eat breakfast. Now this lady's contractions are fast and she is screaming her guts out. Its scary. And this is her second kid. Aiyo amma, Aiyo Tai screaming away too glory. SCARY!

I refuse to stay in the room. I'm sitting outside by the nurses station, increasing their anxiety as they have to be doubly careful of moving around me. They decide its better to prep me than have me hanging around there. And oh yea my contractions have also started. So with this lady's screams as the background score, I get prepped. And it didn't help that that window right across was open to full view. So what If the labor ward in on the fourth floor and overlooks a lovely garden. And then I'm wheeled back into the ward room. This lady is still screaming, the nurse is scolding her for making such a racket, this being her second kid. She is demanding a c-sec as she cannot handle the pain. Soon we are matching each other. She finishes her contraction and mine begins.. we are getting close. I'm screaming and yelling.. I literally tore apart my pillow. And I start bleeding. I have this pad stuffed in between my legs, yuck.. the pain is killing me. So the nurse attached the monitor to check the baby's heart beat. I forget what it is called. That belt is irritating, the other lady with her screaming is irritating, the male nurses are scared looking at me..which is driving me nuts.. and my doc is not reachable. Its 11 am and I am officially in Labor.

They finally get hold of my doc, who is on her way. It should take her approx. 15 min to get here. but its 30 min and still no sign of her. Of all the days to get stuck in a traffic jam. I am taken to the labor room. the other lady delivered thru a c-sec. The resident doc and nurses are worried as I have eaten, no epidural and no instructions from my doc on what should be administered. They did not want to interfere as I was a visiting doc's case. I finally tell them to go ahead with the delivery and I'm ready, I'm pushing during my contractions. Thank fully my doc arrives. I beg I plead with her to give me a pain killer, anything just to decrease this horrendous pain. But no luck. "how can you have a child without feeling the pain. only when you have pain will you push and only then your baby will be born. we are not doing an unnecessary c-sec. Im strapped in stirrups. My legs hurt. And with the aid of 2 nurses by my side, helping me hold my legs, I start pushing. My cousin describes it as the worst type of constipation. And with all the pushing my motion comes out,
thanks to the food I ate.

My best friend had the same doc, so I knew what was coming. I'm pushing and I see and feel the doc cut me up, use the forceps to take out my baby. Its a sudden Whoosh..my baby is out and instant relief. I sit up to see my baby, all bloody eyes tightly shut on my belly. Its a vision I will never forget my entire life. I don't think she cried immediately. After the doc cut the cord and took her for cleaning did I hear her crying. I did'nt know if I had a boy or girl and no body was telling. Suddenly all the nurses vanished. My doc vanished. 2 other docs came in and went. The resident doc is stitching me up. My friends words are echoing in my head "the pain of labor is so intense that you don't even feel them stitch you up" Well I got to know from another cousin who is a doc that the they administer local anesthesia before cutting and hence you don't feel them stitching you up.

I don't know for how long I'm lying there. The male nurses come in looking very worried. I couldn't care less. I'm literally nude and bleeding all over. Modesty is the last thing on my mind. And then the nurses bring my child, all clean and dressed and wrapped in the clothes that were worn by me when I was born. yes my mum kept them. Another sight that I will never forget. I so badly wanted to hold her, but since I was not clean and didn't have the energy they put her in the incubator next to me. The male nurses come and congratulate me. And suddenly my baby goes missing. Turns out she is being shown off by my doc to my family waiting outside. I did not know who was there. I have a big big family. My dad's side. My husband and his parents and family did not think it was worth coming to. And at that moment I couldn't have cared less. All I wanted to do was to hold her take in her breath her sight feel her.

The nurse start to breastfeed, they are holding her and I'm trying to figure out what the heck is going on. They tell me the sooner you start the better. Anyways they put her back in the incubator and she is crying away. And here I am lying down. My attendant gives me coffee and biscuit's to eat as I have to take my medicines. I decide to get up and go see my baby, try to get up, fail, try again. She really gives me strength. I then decide that I want to be clean before I take her, so I walk into the room and my attendant comes running. She is giving me the hearing of my life,literally. Turns out if the docs or the nurses had seen me alone and up she would have lost her job, as she is supposed to be helping me around.

She gives me a bath and I'm ready to carry my daughter. But still not allowed till I eat and have my medicines. In the middles of this, my best friends mum is hugging me. And instead of thanking her, I'm looking at her strangely and wondering how did they let her come in. She just walked in saying that she is Dr.C's mum(my best friend) :D and turn out that she was giving a running commentary of my deliver to my friend over the phone. Since my daughter was crying so loudly they took her outside which immediately quietened her.

Dr A told my family that I had a normal delivery when in fact it was a forceps. Turns out that Forceps is the new Normal delivery. But it can go horribly wrong too, if the baby's head is held too tightly. I consider my self lucky. I was born a forceps, my bro forceps and my daughter too. Just before my doc received the call about me going into labor, she was about to enter the OT for a c-sec for another patient. And had that been the case, I don't even want to think about it. Yes I was lucky. And my baby in a hurry to get out. Doc predicted she would be born in the evening and here she is born at noon. The nurses to this day claim that it is thanks to this other lady I went into labor soon, as her cries induced my labor.

My daughter was born 5 days before my mum's last chemo date. My mum recovered faster and much sooner because of my kiddo. She got the strength to run around the hospital and home, taking care of my food and diet. My relatives were there, they also did the cooking and preparing the special foods, but my mum wanted to do everything and wouldn't listen to anybody. Her last chemo went like a breeze. She says she hardly felt it.

Today when my mum is not in town, my kiddo misses her so much, talks to her minimum 4 times a day. And of course her sleep is forgotten.

37 comments:

Manpreet said...

Beautifully written, and of course reminded me of my two labors. First one, when my girl was born - lasted about 36 hours but was worth it. The face that you get to see at the end of that pain makes you cry out of sheer happiness, and I cried boldly - seeing that she was such a beautiful part of me.
Thanks for sharing such an intimate part of your life.

Imp's Mom said...

Thank you Manpreet. the pain is soo totally worth it.. I was and still am in complete awe of nature and the whole process of giving birth.

meghna mohan said...

babe this was just so beautiful... so ... I am at loss of words...

all i can say is, I can't wait to have my baby :)

*hug*

Indian Home Maker said...

Awww great read....brought back so many lovely memories!I loved best, the part about how your mom recovered faster to be able to care for you!
Mothers are the best to have around you before, during and after your baby's birth.
It's such an awe inspiring experience, I still tell my kids the story of how I first saw each of them. Lovely post:)

Imp's Mom said...

Megh: Thanks girl :) And i know you will make a wonderful mother! *hugs*

IHM:thank you! I plan to tell my kiddo too:)

k10 said...

Phew!!
That was really really scary...
I am numbed...

k10 said...

Phew!!
That was really really scary...
I am numbed...

Sukla M C said...

Came here through Venkat's Blog ..

Scarry stuff..

Btw my wishes to your Mom (how is she doing now), You and ur little Kiddo ...

Once again Scary Stuff

The Gypsy said...

wow!! this is so well written,thanx for sharing :)

Imp's Mom said...

k10and Sukla: Welcome! yup scary, but now when its all over, doesn't matter much :)

Sukla: Thanks for asking, mum is doing fine.. she did not want us to and we didn't want to either treat her as a patient, and that goes a long way in healing.

gypsy: thanks! been wanting to write about it for some time..

How do we know said...

Congratulations!! And all the Best..:-)

Am soo happy to hear u have a daughter at home.

~nm said...

Your post reminded me of my own delivery. Which was somewhat similar to yours :)

Read it here whenever you get a chance.

And yeah, when you are in so much pain and stuff that modest is the last thing you have on your mind :)

These little babies are the best pain relievers after the labor ordeal..aren't they? :D

Imp's Mom said...

HDWK: Thank you!

~nm: very similar indeed. yes the babies are so worth the pain..like they say no pain no gain:D

read your story too and posted a comment also:)

Mystic Margarita said...

Your account of your baby's birth took me back to mine...haven't blogged about it yet, maybe some day I will. Thanks so much for sharing! :) How old is your daughter now? Btw, first-timer - landed here via blog-hopping - will definitely be back for more.

Suki said...

Is Babbai's birthday coming up soon? Sorry if I forgot, but my memory is too sieve-like and you don't have a ticker to glance at :(

That's a beautiful birth story of a beautiful daughter! Kudos to you and your mom for your unbelievable strength as well :)

Imp's Mom said...

Mystic Margarita: Welcome! I love your name:) My daughter is 19 months.. and do come back :)

Suki: Nah her b'day is in Oct. Gonna get that ticker soon :) And Thank you! Its very rightly said, if god shows you a rough path he also gives you the strength to cross it!

Emaan said...

mommy loved this post.. said it reminded her of how i arrived in jan this year !
only u described it a lot better :-)

Imp's Mom said...

Thanks Emaan's mom :)

Roop Rai said...

my goodness, I!! u scared me even more to have a baby. i guess the sense of relief and happiness on seeing your child for the first time doesn't hold any meaning until it actually happens. until then, it's the pain (rather the fear of it) that reigns supreme hehe.

either way, u wrote it very well. i could actually picturize everything you wrote. i am very happy that your mum recovered. may god bless you all with great health and much happiness.

wishes :)

Rajeshwari said...

What an ordeal!!!! The "Aiyo Amma" was so hilarious!!1

Priyanka said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Priyanka said...

Its always nice to have our moms around during such times. My mom underwent high-dose chemo & transplant last year. As she has recovered pretty well, she was able to come here for my delivery and stay with me for a couple of months. They are truly precious!

I pray your mom has a healthy, happy & long life!

Imp's Mom said...

Oh Roop its only natural to be scared.. I was too esp after reading up on all the things that can go wrong, so much so that I stopped reading them preg books. :) but the sight of your child is enough to make you forget the whole thing! And thank you for your wishes :)

Raji, yes its hilarious now, but then it was just irritating and scary! :P

Priyanka: thank you lady! Yup they are truly precious! though i fought with my mom the most, whenever I was sick or down, she was the one I needed the most and still do :P

Thought Room said...

Hi
I travelled with you all through the post, largly associating it with my experiences. Though I am yet to come in terms with my experiences, I have to applaud you for the fact that, you are able to write about it along with all the mental pressure that was surrounding you at that time. All I can say, is that I wish I was there to hug you.

I love Lucy said...

I hope your mom is doing well.My mom battled breast cancer and overcame it not too long ago so I know exactly what it feels like.But it seems nothing compared to your situation.
You seem to be an extraordinary woman...so full of strength and courage.I wish you the very best.
Will be a regular visitor of your blog from now on :)

Imp's Mom said...

Awww..thought room thanks :) **hugs** I hope one day you will also be able to write about it..

I love lucy: Welcome! and thank you, my mum is better.. I'm no extraordinary woman, just a regular one trying to live her life to the fullest :)

Poppins said...

Where did my comment go?? I was amazed by your story, I love reading natural birth stories, esp ones with so much drama :D

Hats off to your mother, aren't mothers the best?

rohit said...

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

you are fantastic!!!



god bless u dear

can we exchange our link

r u ready to do?

Imp's Mom said...

Poppins: Drama is the right word! My bro called it the best humorous drama he has ever seen :P

Mothers are THE best, only wish I can measure up to her!

Sukla M C said...

:) nice to hear Everyone's fine

Did see you passed by my Blog ... I Got a reply for your comment there :)

Piscean Angel said...

Wow !!! This is a very beautiful post. I'm a 1st time visitor here. Came thru Mystic Margarita's blog where she has tagged both of us :) Will sure be back for more.

Imp's Mom said...

Piscean angel: Welcome! and thank you :)

the mad momma said...

sigh. that modesty thing! I got over it sometime during the first delivery. now i am happy to lift up my teeshirt and show you my stretchmarks in the middle of a busy market place! so much for a woman's modesty :)

nicely told story. i was on the edge of my seat!

Pinku said...

that was so awesome .....I am so scared and I also so want to see it for myself...

thanks for sharing....

is the baby on top the imp whose mom you are?....beautiful child, just like an angel

Imp's Mom said...

mad momma: thanks :)

Pinku: thanks :) the pic on the header is part of the template design by final sense, and not my kiddo :)

winky said...

Beautiful write up!!!!!!!!!!!!

Imp's Mom said...

hey ankita! thanks :))