Of letting go and Withdrawl Symptoms...

Ever since my daughter was born, have been hunting for a maid to help out. Several came and left. Some were good and some better left not spoken about. But there are 2 who I will be ever grateful for. Lets call them G and N. G was called specifically for me and my baby's needs and to generally help me. She gave me those really hot baths, taught me how to bathe a baby, burp a baby.. N was already employed at home and she took on the additional responsibility of my baby as well, she bonded really well with her and became very attached.

I always wanted to do everything for my baby. So as soon as my body healed I started giving my daughter massages and her bath. I would rock her every evening, whenever she got cranky, which she got a lot..esp in the evenings. And now I give her a bath, feed her, cook sometimes too, and even wash her clothes when required. I use cloth diapers for her, those bug square ones which you need to be folded and held with a safety pin. My day is divided between my work, when she is awake and asleep. Leaving me time for anything else..

Now I have a maid and am so reluctant to teach and show her how my baby likes to be bathed, fed all the little games we play, the mock scoldings the running around and playing the fool.. I hate the fact that she doesn't need me all the time now. To change her nappies, to make her sit on the potty every hour, and even to feed her. There are times when her are demands only for me and I happily leave my work. My work! which now I'm in no mood or rather distracted trying to cope with the sudden rejection. Earlier the minute I sit on the laptop, she would be here and try to press all the keys, move the mouse clicking away to glory just to bug em and get me off the system. Now she does come but only for like a few minutes, till she is distracted by her play mate. And its not helping that I have begun to wean her too.

Its been a few days since my relatives have come home and my kiddo doesn’t cling to me anymore. She has 3 more people to play with, another set of Nana Nani and a Mausi. What does this leave me with – more me time, only now it has me wondering why is the house so quiet. Or rather my room so quiet. Where she would be screaming,creating a racket, deliberately hitting the keys of the laptop bugging me to play the you tube videos, AB..AB..AB..(the alphabet rhyme) and BA..bA..baa..baa(Ba ba black sheep) on my laptop… Its Zilch now! She is such a good girl with her mausi. She lets her wash her hands, lets her wipe them, lets her comb her hair and even eats peacefully. Now if she only learns to sleep by herself, it will be sone pe suhaga!

I know when they leave, it will be a worse case scenario but until then I am going to enjoy and not think of it.